Kepler can vouch all he wants for the laws of physics but the fact that they can teleport literally anywhere in the world truly, honestly shoots the shit out of mostly any science. Actually, the fact that teleportation exists and they’re still at risk of being destroyed by the thing that killed the dinosaurs a billion years ago really says a lot about humanity as a whole, he thinks.

It was a weird feeling, not altogether unpleasant, but definitely something that might make you sick if you do it quite frequently. Like riding rollercoasters or skydiving.

One second the floor beneath his tennis shoes was white plasteen tiles and the next it was purple carpet, threadbare and pilling and peeling up from the backing at the edges. He looked up (sandwiched between Isaac and Ashley, which was a trip) to take in the rest of the little flat.

It was nice. It wasn’t his lab, but, it was nice.

There were monkey bars on the ceiling.

He’d stowed Gaia and Merc away for the transport, fairly certain he wasn’t going to get absconded with or attacked, but he wasn’t exactly relaxed. As the two simians jump down to meet them and their little group diffuses across the living space he freezes. Ashley speedruns them through his collection of Pokemon and Kepler immediately calls them Bonga and Congo in his head.

He resigns to not verbalize anything out loud so he just lifts a hand and says, “Hey.”

Kepler never got invited to parties or houses or had friends so he didn’t really know what to do once the intros were done. Ash busied himself in the kitchen and Kepler feels like he’s about to exploud because he has no fucking social skills and then Ash tells him the WiFi password and he snickers.

“Funny.”

Maybe this will be okay after all?

He vacillates between kitchen table and living room but gets mad distracted by the way Ashley weilds a kitchen knife like a fucking samurai of old and so he finds himself drawn into the kitchen, sort of studying what he’s doing but also really trying hard to not be a fucking creep. But Kepler has always liked learning! And what Ashley is doing is so fucking fascinating.

He jumps when Ash turns back to them and asks for help. Kepler exchanges a, frankly, terrified look with Isaac, because he’s certain he’ll slice his fucking fingers off if he even tries.

Isaac Merlo Ashley Shepard

☉

Kepler was unsure as to how he felt about a giant, prehistoric bug making his food-- but then he realized that he’d not wanted to help and decided to stop being such a pretentious dick about it.

The way the Kabutops slices and dices, Kepler thinks, is not nearly as interesting as when Ashley does it.

He tilts his head, feeling the Carvahna reference going right over his head. Thankfully, Ash fills him in, and his eyes go a little wide at almost bled out.

“That’s terrifying,” he says, frank and honest. He looks back at Isaac. “He seems to make a habit of saving people.”

They have to bring up the food poisoning thing again and Kepler sighs, waving the idea away with a flick of his wrist.

“This isn’t what I pictured when you first pitched the idea,” he said, allowing himself the half-admission of being wrong. “I was thinking, like, campfire. Sticks. A whole ass fish.”

Not a nice meal in a cozy kitchen.

Isaac Merlo Ashley Shepard

☉

Isaac and Ash talk about their Pokemon and their passions for cooking. Kepler thinks of his own squad. Half of them are mindless in their devotion to him. Half of them couldn’t give two shits. He doesn’t think he knows any of them as well as he knows Mercury, but Gaia’d killed for him, so, that counted for something, right?

He made a mental note to get to know them better, if he ever got the time.

“I mean, you did save me from being sacrificed,” he pointed out, countering Isaac’s insouciant admission with one of his own. He arched an eyebrow, daring Isaac to level his riposte. Deny your capability again, pal.

He graces Ashley’s kitchen and dining space with another measured gaze, one hand on the back of a chair. “I do appreciate modern amenities,” he said, on a quiet laugh. He could feel the knots starting to loosen.

Then Ash casually says you can sleep in my tent and Kepler turns firehouse red.

“I-- maybe,” he says, just barely avoiding gasping like a fucking fish, “I’m not really on speaking terms with the great outdoors after being kidnapped and tied up outside like a dog.” Not to mention the years of horrible experiences of his childhood.

His eyes close for a bit longer than a standard blink. It’s okay, they’re you’re f-- well, they’re not going to hurt you.

When their gravitational drag pulls him towards the living room, he goes, choosing a corner of the couch as far away as physically possible while still being on the same piece of furniture.

“I was collecting weather balloon data, studying the effects of the dome on Hoenn’s atmospheric physics,” Kepler said, talking to distill his nerves. “One of the balloons came down near a Kyogre cultist ritual. I… didn’t even know they were there until they grabbed me.”

He’s perched on the arm of the couch like a cat, nervous.

Isaac Merlo Ashley Shepard

☉

“Saving people’s lives seems like a pretty big impact,” Kepler agrees, the gentle intonation of his voice hinting at the sarcasm. His voice was a little shaky and he, thankfully, didn’t notice Ash staring because if he had he maybe would have died for real. Or thought there was something wrong with him or gross on his face because that’s usually what was the case when people stared at him.

His body was still rigid, like he was sitting on glass, and any wrong step would end up getting him punctured. Isaac’s hand on his shoulder was a grounding weight-- but a weight, all the same, and he swallowed hard.

(He was unused to being touched in ways that didn’t make him hurt.)

“Has he told you the Mew-Man story?” Kepler asked Ash, leaning forward to look around Isaac. “Because he hasn’t told me. Though whoever came up with that name really needs a better one.”

Though Isaac’s praise does make him flush. His eyes cast towards the ground. Something Ashley says catches him off guard: “Orphanage?” he parrots, then winces, like he’s been struck. What a fucking asshole: yeah, why don’t you draw out the stranger’s past trauma and then focus attention on it. “Sorry.”

He almost says I thought orphanages were just made up in movies but bites that part of the statement off before it can escape.

“Mercury and Gaia did most of the work. And Oort.” Oort, who had taken a potentially fatal blow for them, and traded it back. Oort who had bound his life to the Mega Swamperts and then willingly fainted to bring the behemoth down.

He didn’t appreciate the Wobbuffet enough, actually.

“Doing stuff like what?” Kepler asks, voice harsh in its flatness. “I’m just a scientist. All the stuff I do with-- the organization, is just stuff I did before. Except with more danger and the threat of legal retribution.” Ash didn't need to be a Rocket to have hobbies and do stuff, is what he was saying.

Isaac Merlo Ashley Shepard

☉

Maybe the important part was that Isaac didn’t set out to be a hero, but chose to be, instead. Like, you know, maybe the real adventure was the friends we made along the way?

Regardless, Kepler valued one thing above all others: his own life. Which meant that Isaac, having played an intricate part in Kepler keeping his own life, was elevated to hero status, whether the blonde wanted it or not.

“I’ve never built a pillow fort before,” he confessed, resting his chin in his hand and thinking through the metrics. “Though it doesn't sound too tricky. I made a blueprint for a space base on the moon-- couldn’t be much harder than that.” Well, in honesty, the architect in his group had done the blueprint-- Kepler’s simply done the math. No less integral, just less drawing.

He settles into his seat to listen to Isaac finally tell the Mew-Man story. He has a lot of questions. Screaming metal deathtrap? Hoenn News Network? What the fuck?

“Wow, that sounds completely improbable,” Kepler said, in true Kepler fashion. “Like… like you ever watch those monster hunting shows on the Discovery Channel? It sounds like something fresh off one of those.” He realized belatedly that he was coming across a little bit harsh. “I totally believe you, though,” he adds, as an afterthought, before realizing, again belatedly, that he sounds super fake. “I do.”

Ash came at it from a different angle, waxing poetic about how cool is was for Isaac to have met a cryptid and escaped with his life.

“Have you tried getting a hobby?” he asked, unable to fight back the snark that was slowly bubbling to the surface the more comfortable he became. “Like… hiking. Or something other than cooking. To combat the stir craziness? You don’t need to sign your life away in order to enjoy doing things.”

He slid down onto the couch proper, still folded up on himself. “I joined with with no qualms and no hesitations and I still don’t have any. But even I can see that it’s easier to get in than out.”

Isaac Merlo Ashley Shepard
he's such a dick im sorry

☉